You say my sword, arrows, arc have skinned your pouch to the bark
And all your sorrows are fruit of schemes of my men, so hark:
You claim I’m the worst of the lot,
Well I tell you, sir, I’m Not-
Tingham’s worst fellow, and I’m proud o’ the remark!
Today’s the day I first breathed, first saw the sunlight,
And I’m moping unlike a birthday person might,
For all have forgotten my bday
And sad, I get home …then “heeey!”
“Surprise” screams at me from a cake crowned with candlelight.
Monsters under my bed
I know I shouldn’t be scared right now as the lights are off
But I know too that they are only scared when the dark is off
And once the switch has gone
The other way, they are prone
To start jumping at me from under the bed and make life rough.
The beast burst out of the earth; birth of horror,
So bright white in colour, but for the horror you’d think it’s god,
I shuddered and cursed, my neighbours stuttered then turned.
My soul gutted by fear and in turn I turned and fled faster than Roadrunner.
Saw the others ahead and I’s tailing in the rear!
I wish I was a Ferrari to change gear and go faster than Schumacher!
But the creature came nearer at every step I dared
Till I hit a rock and landed flat on my bed.
All sweating! Phew! What kind of dream had I just had?
Anyway, I closed my eyes and in a few minutes was back to dreaming:
Colourful scenery, all covered in greenery
No more screaming…what’s that over there grinning?
Uh oh! It’s back to screaming, somebody call for help oh!
Before a young boy lose his life in a bone-filled blood pool
‘Cos those teeth I see below those eyes filled with greed
Could chew a Cat tractor; go figure what’ll do to me!
I run some more, but I’m running on my knees!
I see why I’ve been slower than Kanye on a beat,
And why my life chance are looking slimmer than Chantal Ayiss’
But as the jaw was about to close on me, my eyes opened and you bet I’m not falling back asleep!