“You’re too sedentary” I recall my parent’s warning
As I swam in bites and kilobytes on a monitor
Forgetting the world, forgetting to exercise, eating junk
And battering my circadian cycle to a pulp.
And I made up my mind: I’ll get the Best of Both Worlds
(Not the K&J album…but my passion and my health)
Through a plan that’ll fix the issue at hand
And shut the mouth of that mocking sphygmomano.
So my 3 point plan was :
1. Eating less overall by halving breakfast and supper all through and lunch until my body stops groaning when I’m not stuffing more than I need into my mouth
2. Bye bye snacks and irregular meals. I shall have no more than breakfast, lunch and supper and damn you for taking me to that “soya” spot during off-meal hours!
3. A couple jumps before, while (if safe) and after I shower when the sun defeats darkness and when darkness gets its revenge. Then a diligent stretching session before I sleep.
It’s 2 years now and I’ve been failing then trying my scheme again,
And I’ve beat the scale, sphygmo and the jeers:
I’ve been at 83kg now for quite a while,
And I didn’t have to pay anybody a cent to pack this smile
Oh! I still remember the blow the scale dealt
As my feet finally feared less enough to step on
And my eyes lost the fight, staring down
At the figures flashing, then fixed against the screen.
95kg?!! How…when…wait this isn’t working.
This isn’t happening! How could this happen?
“Wait”, I said as off unbelieving I reset the lie
But felt the shock as I to myself no more could lie.
The funny looks of mean bastards jeering,
The rejection felt in taxi seats, public places
The TV’s bashing of me, through photoshopped “perfection”
And the promise that this was all going to get worse!
So here I am in a world new to me, unknown to me,
Wishing to step out of the discomfort I face.
I still love me, for all God gave mummy to give me
But the sphygmomano also dealt a worse blow:
As my heart flirted with pressure beyond what vessels could hold.
I had to make a plan.
There lay the petri dish in the danger zone,
Fungi flying around to infect those lovely scones
So they put in bacteria to control
And gave each one license to roll
But didn’t plan the proliferation that makes graves of homes
Dear mum, dad, brothers, sisters
I finally arrived where my wings would lead me:
Fluttering butterfly flying over the arid bones
Littering the Sahara and the water-less desert homes,
And the Unicorns died long ago in this part of Earth,
And the promise is great beyond this packed car so lonely.
I finally arrived over the wall of hydrogen and oxygen:
Cod zapping around the nets of growing security threats
Avoiding capture by sharks swimming in Libyan markets
Lonely in a packed raft dreaming of Sugar Candy mountain’s berths
And the promise is great beyond this journey scars of candy.
I finally arrived, oh you should see me now, I made it:
Bones lying comfortable in the land promised to us
As I waved goodbye to you watching the tailpipe of that bus,
Lying lonely in a crowd of happy silence, where water has seized our breaths,
For we made it, we made it beyond pain to peace in this earth so cozy.
Farewell till we meet again beyond the pain.
From the grave with no name.