Categories
fear

On Addiction #slaveToPleasure

It pulls you as much as you pull it
It pulls you as much as you pull it.

You’re both master and slave to each other,
Satisfying your raster of cravings in destructive instants.
And in those instants when the cage feels sweeter,
You’re trapped further by some form of trance.

It pulls you as much as you pull it
It pulls you as much as you pull it.

You draw it towards you, feeling like an eagle
Patrolling your turf, oblivious to the nails sinking into
Your hands, as delusional you feel you’re in control.
You’re not. Each pull of yours meets Newton’s memento.

It pulls you as much as you pull it
But won’t push you even if you push it.

What ?! That’s the puzzle that rings the alarm:
You’re stuck in a draining flooded tub
And elusive are the objects which could grab your arm
And yank you out. Even when this beast was but a cub,

It pulled you much more than you pulled it
It’s pulling you much more than you can push it.

(c) Nyonglema

Categories
sadness

In front of the door #addiction #lost #hope

Tip tap tip tap tip tap dumm dumm dumm
Tip tap tip tap tip tap dumm dumm dumm


The butterflies don’t fly around anymore where I live
Nor do bees weave honey out of the sweet notes from trees.
Outside there’s quiet, so quiet even the colours took leave
And the dim light scoffs the darkness dancing around me


The fireflies died eons ago. Those notes of the piano
I long to hear turned to screeches within each cord
Of my soul: broken chords, broken hope more than you’d know
The cling clang of my chains and my beaten soul are in accord.


Tip tap tip tap tip tap dumm dumm dumm
Tip tap tip tap tip tap dumm dumm dumm


Yes the steps outside, those steps I hear as I fall
Into this abyss I love, those steps keep knocking and get denied
Entry to my cosy coroner of paradise which tends the walls
Within which I cage myself: this body I’ve hatefully knifed.


I clutch the bane and nurse my pain as my very own kin
And wish they could float in, wishing the owl’s hoot
Were not real, and they could pass through any- and everything
That the nightmares in my reality were entirely moot.


How shall I let them in to take away my pleasure
My treasure, my precious tender executioner?
The butterflies don’t fly around here in any measure
And the bees fled the pestilence in this corner.


(c) Nyonglema

Categories
sadness

The metal on metal screech #babyCrying #sickBaby

I know those sharp nails gushing down the stairs for my heart
As if from a loud speaker at the hospital  emergencies;
That peculiar pitch which laughs my day’s stress into shards
Turned into painful shrieks I hear, shrieks laden with insidious neurosis.

She must  be alone. No: lonely in the grip of a crowd of white coats
Seeking the via for the intravenous treatment of her bacteriosis.
The nails sink deeper with each step towards the coats
Loathing to see the sounds bringing back all Nollywood horror stories

To my mind. My daughter’s writhing in pain
And I, helpless, can but acerbate her confusion
With a forehead kiss, while she thought I was boon to the bane;
My cooperation with the nurses is surely not her idea of gumption.

The confused stream pouring down her salty-with-wailing cheeks
Fuels pain within my hardened-with-reality-but-fragile soul,
For to be there but unable to put an end to her shrieks
Makes my spirit bend to the point I feel I’m losing my all.

(c) Nyonglema