Category Archives: sadness

Suffering Agony, suffering, hurt, anguish
Sadness Depression, despair, hopelessness, gloom, glumness, sadness, unhappiness, grief, sorrow, woe, misery, melancholy
Disappointment (Dismay, disappointment, displeasure)

Shame (Guilt, shame, regret, remorse)

Neglect (Alienation, isolation, neglect, loneliness, rejection, homesickness, defeat, dejection, insecurity, embarrassment, humiliation, insult)

Sympathy (Pity, sympathy)

sadness

The metal on metal screech #babyCrying #sickBaby

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I know those sharp nails gushing down the stairs for my heart
As if from a loud speaker at the hospital  emergencies;
That peculiar pitch which laughs my day’s stress into shards
Turned into painful shrieks I hear, shrieks laden with insidious neurosis.

She must  be alone. No: lonely in the grip of a crowd of white coats
Seeking the via for the intravenous treatment of her bacteriosis.
The nails sink deeper with each step towards the coats
Loathing to see the sounds bringing back all Nollywood horror stories

To my mind. My daughter’s writhing in pain
And I, helpless, can but acerbate her confusion
With a forehead kiss, while she thought I was boon to the bane;
My cooperation with the nurses is surely not her idea of gumption.

The confused stream pouring down her salty-with-wailing cheeks
Fuels pain within my hardened-with-reality-but-fragile soul,
For to be there but unable to put an end to her shrieks
Makes my spirit bend to the point I feel I’m losing my all.

(c) Nyonglema

sadness

Youth #age #nostalgia

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I miss the days when each rock was a boulder,
When peeling off the skin of a cheese triangle
Decorated with a smiling cow was such a wonder.
I miss running up trees and around the concrete jungle
Aimlessly full of hope, happy to be life’s soldier,
Fighting for dad’s cause, adhering to mum’s angle.
I miss bewilderment at technical prowess in elementary solder
As the capacitors sprung back to life in that CRT National.
The world’s years are now heavy on mine and life’s such a ramble
At this stage where I can feel it all on my shoulder.

(c) Nyonglema

sadness

Rush #late #hurry #homeSick

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I’m dreaming of a melody
Pulling me from sleep’s safe haven.
“Ding ding la-la ding” it sings
And my eyes seek the screen to swipe-to-snooze
But then the phone rings:
“Your lift is here sir”

What??4am already????
Quick, throw my underwear off,
Rush, pee, Brush
Turn the shower knob to wash
It’s cold! It’s hot! Too cold, not quite hot. Ok
Gel on the face cloth
Scrub, scrub, counting seconds in my head.
Rush, rush. Lotion. Deodorant.
Throw on my gear in haphazard layers.
No belt, won’t do my laces.
Rush, rush: I just can’t miss this flight home!

(c) Nyonglema

sadness

Once I held a gun #childSoldiers #stopWar

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Once I held a gun in the bush.
That Ak47 was nearly my size but I lifted it.
I was fierce and fearless to my foes,
Taking their lives before they could reach for mine.

Yes, once I killed in the bush;
The men who protected their villages,
The women who protected their children,
The children who would avenge their orphan state.

At that time I was a hero in the army
So decorated by war wounds and scars
That pain became the objective of my existence
And transmitting it my only medicine.

Now I’m 16 years old and peace has killed the need for guns.
My grades and skill set mean nothing.
All left is the emptiness in the memories of maimed men,
Mothers, and children.What to do now?

AH…Once I was told taking lives was the life I needed,
But now I know there was much more to hope for.
…
Much more to aim AT than innocent targets in the bush

(c) Nyonglema

sadness

The Superior Race #racismSucks

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So, which of the races rules over all
In quality, strength and crazy potential?
And how shall we distinguish this lot?
By skin? Hair?Gait? Manner of speech and thought?

Shall we find these noble ones and crown them
And give authority over the scum to their men?
Well in my search for the superior blood,
I’ve combed pages, heard ideas from myriad cords

And in conclusion all criteria are but earthly classification
Of something deeper in different forms of creation.
So to hell with your theories new, old, and your nays and nods,
The superior race is the race to God.

(c) Nyonglema

sadness

The Return #soldiers #war #stopWar

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For the Veterans. The brave in the grave, or still above ground. The survivors of war, who fought for the cause.

nyonglema's avatarwaghni

Pam-de poodle-pam
His eager war-worn fingers tapped away;
Home sweet home! How glad!
No more late night crawls,
Stealthy whispers; all will be better.
He stares at the dying sun, how glad!
Straight home, to the arms of his weary-with-waiting family.
All the dreary things he had seen, done;
The foetid smell of vicious powder at every shot,
His fallen friends, the disturbed erupting rubble
At each bomb blast!
Only homewards!
The truck pulled lazily away,
Grumbling at the load: a hoarde of weary fighters
Hope and ammunition spent, with hunger double bent;
Pulling sorry faces, Shakespeare could not have imagined better!
But under those scarred wrinkled overgrown brows
Flickered in their searching eyes
Some hope, hope of home comfort.
The truck plodded lazily on;
They chanted: one dead song it was;
Like ten drunkards at an opera.
Oh, but for the fallen, how much better it would have been!

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sadness

The Palm Tree Seed #blackSheep #uglyDuckling #rejected

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There it lay lazily in a sea of others like itself;
Well, in most things like itself,
For they all had that haggard carelessly drawn spherical shape,
Showered with burning brown, red and yellow,
And the dark hats, a vestige of parenthood,
Made them look like brothers.

But it just didn’t look the same!
The paleness plaguing its pelt,
The gayness around seemed to stay off it,
Though the concentration of joy and beauty around
Should have diffused directly through
The fibrous coat, to hit the core;
It just didn’t fit!

Could it be a fall-out of the prejudicial lighting,
Which threw shades through each kernel’s space
From the dim candle lighting up the room’s face,
Giving the weird spheres flickering weirder airs?
No. It was just that this horrid sight
Was wrought by warms eating right through its coat
Causing decay: poor thing.

(c) Nyonglema

sadness

THREE VOICES

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Hi Readers, Let me share this poem I wrote way back when I was 16 years old. I have held myself back from re-working it at all….let’s call it a trip down memory lane ;-)

So it is a love square that turns into a love triangle …with weird ending …enjoy

 
“Oh Amanda, your heart regulates mine.
One second without you is like a lifetime.
Were’t I wasn’t wed, we’d be forever in this time.
But fate had it otherwise, now this love is a crime.”
At this point Idyllia burst in, started crying,
Caught her man enlaced by a girl lying supine.
 

“Why you had to lie to me again?
My heart is yours, love. Stop this pain.
You swore you’d be my high, not my bane.
But you’re playing a game that keeps the rain on the pane.”
But forgiving as she’d grown, unlike Cain,
She forgave, forgot the pain and stayed on the scathing lane.

 
“Why did you forgive that bloke?
A jerk that can’t even keep an oath?
There are a thousand worth more than that goat!
Why do this dumb deed; stick with a cheating crook?”
Went her best friend, holding a secret hope.
Of course Idyllia didn’t care, because she loved.
 

“Oh Amanda, my sun, my earth, my sky.
Last time was an error; please don’t cry.
Things are getting better, Idyllia’s sick while
We savour this instants of elixir.” Nine
Days later Idyllia got the 419.
She cried alone, cold, watched joy pass her by.

 “You promised you and long-hair was finished game,
But you ran right back into her arms, in my pain.
Why play this game, acting insane?
If you love me no more, make it plain.”
He feared her reaction so much he couldn’t but claim
He still loved her, while his heart craned.
 

“My word! You are the stupidest bloke.
He’s not worthy of you, he can’t play a man’s role.
Drop him go for one who’s not a casanov’
I’m your friend, girl, it hurts to hear your sobs.”
Sure Idyllia wouldn’t listen to these notes
But her man wouldn’t pity her, though she loved.

“Oh…Amanda…you pregnant? Are you out of your mind?!
No, stop crying. I’m kidding, love; all is fine.
What said the doctor? On ultrasound, is all fine?
Is it a girl you would name or a petty Brian?”
News soon reached Idyllia’s ears, milked her eyes.
She looked to the sky; one question : WHY?”

 “You wouldn’t listen to all my wise words,
There you ago again! Take a dekko;
His baby girl growing in the whore!”
Words as fake as she who spoke.
Scornful look at her friend. She was on
Replacing Amanda, Idyllia; life was a lilo.

“Rhoda, incarnate of the beauty on a Queen Anne’s lace.
So honoured to be here with you in this place.
Just two of us. Oh! How perfectly chiselled is your face.
I wish I could restart life’s race;
Reincarnated, never known Idyllia nor Amanda’s face.
Simply know no face but yours, my wish.

“Rhoda?! Oh cruel earth; even my best friend lies
To me, cheats! Wish I had never received life;
A poisoned gift it was. Mum, tell me why?
One reason why should stay alive; no cyanide?
Honey, it’s over! That was the last slice.
I am gone, wish you happiness down the aisle.”
 

“My word…you are the stupidest bloke.
Under your nose all the while; loving looks
Winks, my kinky outfit each time I come.
Not even the change of voice when I talk
To him? I had it long going on,
Go cry your sorrows away, toilet roll.
 

“Rhoda incarnate of Mercury’s dishonesty,
Yet icon of an Ostrich’s stupidity.
Never would you conjecture in your worst dream
That only Idyllia is going to win.
Yes a sick child grows in a sick me;
A disease carnal nights passed onto Pete.
Long had he considered Idyllia unworthy
Of sharing his bed, and has transmitted
To me and you and me instead.”

(c) Nyonglema

sadness

Fade Slowly Away #humility #memento homo

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The silent slither of the spring sun
Swept over the seed. Timidly the shoot sprung,
Rising through storms, oblivious of mean thunder,
Scorning the shrubs which struggled for light under,
And those shrubs would fade, fade away.

Violent winds, silent breezes, it stood through weather’s caprice,
Braving drought, bathing in rain, strong through Aprils,
Till flowers dawned on its face; adorning.
And Nature paused in wonder adoring
And its gaze could not dare be swayed away.

Miles were trod and years flew by,
The proud-flowered still stood with style
Amidst the lower creatures, ruling and all,
And through winter cold grew in beauty and all
While others would wither or be cleared away.

Violent men have conquered and built empires theirs,
But all went up, and as gravity holds, returned to their peers.
So was nature cast, to the misfortune of the seed,
Which in beauty was so deceived as to scorn. So nature did
Turn its eyes away, and the flowers faded slowly away.

(c) Nyonglema

sadness

The Return #soldiers #war #stopWar

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Pam-de poodle-pam
His eager war-worn fingers tapped away;
Home sweet home! How glad!
No more late night crawls,
Stealthy whispers; all will be better.
He stares at the dying sun, how glad!
Straight home, to the arms of his weary-with-waiting family.
All the dreary things he had seen, done;
The foetid smell of vicious powder at every shot,
His fallen friends, the disturbed erupting rubble
At each bomb blast!
Only homewards!
The truck pulled lazily away,
Grumbling at the load: a hoarde of weary fighters
Hope and ammunition spent, with hunger double bent;
Pulling sorry faces, Shakespeare could not have imagined better!
But under those scarred wrinkled overgrown brows
Flickered in their searching eyes
Some hope, hope of home comfort.
The truck plodded lazily on;
They chanted: one dead song it was;
Like ten drunkards at an opera.
Oh, but for the fallen, how much better it would have been!
Those memories plunged into his dud brain,
Digging tears from his stone-chiselled heart,
But he fought back; a soldier does not cry.

(c) Nyonglema